The Life You Change May Be Your Own!

Bruce’s Story

             It was another fun mentoring day for Bruce as he picked up nine year old John to take him to Bonneville Dam.  John had prepared for this day because there was something he wanted to ask of his mentor.  He didn’t know how to blow bubbles, so he brought a pack of bubblegum and the courage to ask for help.  Bruce taught John the whole process and John practiced in the car mirror until finally exclaiming, “I did it!”  Bruce likes being there to share the things that naturally come up for his young friend.  He knows about John’s abandonment and other serious issues, but that’s not where mentoring starts.  It starts with stuff like blowing bubbles.

             Bruce is the only adult male role model John has ever had in his life.  John’s grandmother, who is his guardian, reports that John has never even had a male teacher or principal.  It’s frustrating to imagine how a little boy will grow up to be a man without ever having known one.  Well, because of Bruce, we won’t have to wonder that for this little boy.

             For the first several months of their relationship, John would get headaches and nausea when they were out together, but after a while it wasn’t a problem anymore.  He just needed time to get comfortable with Bruce.  Whether these two guys are reading in the library, taking a bike ride, or having a tailgate picnic, they’re just friends having fun together.  Bruce knows he’s there to offer consistency, stability, unconditional love, and fun.  He says that mentoring is not about instant gratification.  He is there for his friend, long term.  I think John knows that Bruce is really there for him.  When the two of them were walking along the river just taking time to connect, John reached out and held his mentor’s hand.

Connie’s Story

             It was the twelve year old girl that Connie mentors who said, “With a mentor you can walk away from the bad stuff.” 

When Connie and Lindsay first met through 4Results, Lindsay asked, “Are you getting paid to hang out with me?”  It really made a difference to be able to tell her that she wasn’t getting paid.  “I’m not with you because I have to be, I want to be with you.”  The girls were off to a great start and learned very early that humor helped them to get closer and be comfortable with each other.

             Initially, they did a lot of driving around, shopping, and crafts together.  Sometimes Connie pushed Lindsay to do things that she felt would help her, like reading a book from the library and talking about it.  But she also found it was important to ask Lindsay what she wanted to do. They’ve built a relationship by give and take.  

             Connie went to her friend’s 10th birthday party and Lindsay’s grandmother told her that the year before no one came.  When Connie attended a wedding where Lindsay was a flower girl, an aunt told Connie, “Thank you for all you do for Lindsay, she really needs someone like you in her life.”  Although it’s nice to be thanked, Connie is clear that her time with Lindsay is valuable to her; it’s not an obligation.  She says, “It’s not about what I’m doing for her; you make time for your friends.”  Connie is glad her friend is not afraid to call just to say “hi.”  Connie says, “She knows I’m here for her.  She’s my Lindsay.”

Mae’s Story

             Mae began mentoring with 4Results at the age of 79.  For nearly five years she has been faithfully providing herself as a therapeutic and trusted friend.  Mae is just what Zach needed. 

             Zach is a gentle 13 year old boy.  When Mae met him his family was in danger of separating due to neglect, and he had not been able to make it to school in four months.  They began with slow and quiet activities, due to Zach having stress migraines and being in a fragile state.  Mae was able to take him out of extreme chaos and provide a little peace and security for him each week.  But there were also times that she would arrive to find her friend not able to go out with her.  She even arrived once to find that his family had suddenly moved.  She called to report, “I’ve lost my boy!”

             We were able to find Mae’s boy and with intensive services in place, things are working out well for him now.  Mae’s position has been a labor of love.  She has had to learn to have no expectations of others but provide unconditional friendship. This can be hard.  Mentors sometimes deal with disappointment as they feel bad for their friend and are unable to change their life’s circumstances.  But that is just why Mae is so good for Zach.  She doesn't give up.  She stays positive and perfectly understands the role of a mentor.

             After some time mentoring, Mae arrived to pick up her friend and said, “I wasn’t sure I was getting the right boy.  I realized he didn’t have that hang-dog look.  He’s a different boy now.  He’s a happier boy.  I’m seeing smiles and I tell you, nobody smiles like Zach.” 

Mentor Stories

Introduction

In a world where people rely on themselves, 4Results mentors are finding value in sharing their lives with others.  They are fuelled by the knowledge that one person really can make a difference in a child’s life.  It is often out of appreciation for someone that encouraged them that our mentors give of themselves to inspire others. 

 

Since the year 2000, Columbia River Mental Health Services has been supported by the Clark County Department of Community Services, the Department of Alcohol and Substance Abuse, and the US Department of Education’s Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools, to offer the 4Results Mentoring Programs to the people of Clark County, Washington.  4Results has become a model mentoring program in Washington, providing the highest quality of adult mentors to young people who are receiving mental health services.

 

These stories represent only a few of the nearly 200 life affirming relationships we have been able to facilitate.  We offer these stories in celebration of our successful mentors.

 

4Results mentors set an example for others.  They have an appreciation for who these young people are and who they will become.  These mentors are instruments of hope who will be long remembered.

 

Note:  The names of mentored children have been changed for reasons of confidentiality.  The mentors and their stories are true examples of how mentoring changes lives.

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